My favorite 2 hours

Every Wednesday night I volunteer my time to teach an ESL (English as a Second Language) class at the East Naples headquarters of Literacy Volunteers of Collier County, on whose board I serve.

It is by far the best two hours of my always-fun week.

Alright, to be fair to Jane and the girls, it is the best two hours of my 100-hour work week. ...And at least 90 of those hours are fun, so this is saying something.

Why do I enjoy teaching ESL so much? Well, for one, I'm a ham, and this is my chance to have a captive audience for 120 minutes. That isn't so bad.

For another, I really enjoy helping people who need it. My students are motivated to learn (they're also there voluntarily), they need to learn to make a life here, and by learning English, their life is improving in every way - careerwise, socially, politically. Helping others is an addictive behavior, and I've been hooked for almost 12 years now.

There's one totally selfish pleasure I take from my ESL classes, though. I get to learn all about the rest of the world, from the people who are natives of the countries I study. I haven't traveled all that much - a lot in the US, but outside of that I've only been to Canada, Mexico, Spain, Portugal, and France (for a day).

But I've taught people from 78 different countries on 5 continents. Seeing their countries through their eyes gives you a perspective you can never get from a book, or even from a visit as a tourist. And, while one native may give you a limited perspective, when you teach 4 or a dozen or two hundred people from the same land, you can form a pretty good view of what life must be like there.

Take this past class as an example. I have students from Argentina, Colombia, and Cuba. I don't think I'd ever taught a Cuban before, so I'm learning about a new country. And while we all hear media reports about how so-called communism isn't very pleasant under the Castro Regime, I think the details can seem a little remote; I had missed them altogether, somehow.

Life in Cuba stinks. Physically, it's the jewel of the Caribbean, one of the most beautiful places on Earth. But if you're a citizen... no thank you. I don't blame anyone for leaving.

For instance, people only make $20 a month there. Their medical needs are 100% free, which is nice. Housing is provided for them, such as it is; schooling, too. But food is rationed such that, playing by the rules, you'd starve. Adults are not allowed access to milk; only kids. You only get a couple of eggs a month - six, if I remember correctly. Even rice and bread are rationed. Playing by the rules, you can't possibly fill your stomach.

If you want to make it - at all - you have to participate in the black market. To get by, you have to be a thief. Employees at a grocery store steal food and sell the excess for a profit. Workers in a clothing factory do the same. Police take bribes to keep you out of jail if they catch you, say, driving drunk. Heaven help you if you can't pay your bribe. Heaven help your family if they're hit by a drunk driver who can afford to pay his bribes.

It is a felony to possess five pounds of coffee. Imagine that. If your cow is hit by a truck and dies, you'll go to jail for using its meat. You have to call the police, who will take it away "for" you.

Here's one that I especially love: a native Cuban on her honeymoon at a hotel will be kicked out of her room if a foreign tourist shows up in need of lodging. There's no recourse, because this is government policy. After all, Cuba's shipwrecked economy would be even worse off without those foreign dollars (or Euros or Pesos or Yen). Oh, and speaking of foreign currency: the government charges 22% to convert it. I got to teach the word racket at this point in our lesson, as in "What a racket!"

Cubans also suffer indignity in line at the store, government offices... anywhere there's a line, which is most places. Tourists are allowed straight to the front of the line, even if it's twenty-Cubans deep. Not bad if you're a tourist, though. At least, if you're a tourist without a conscience.

See why I teach English? You don't get this in a magazine, not even National Geographic. I may be helping my students master an essential life-skill. But the experience I get in return... this is a purely selfish endeavor for me.

If you don't teach ESL now, I hope you consider joining a volunteer program like the one at Literacy Volunteers of Collier County (www.Collierliteracy.org) or the Literacy Council of Bonita Springs (www.bonitaliteracy.org). Do it to help others in need, sure. But even more, do it for yourself.